Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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