they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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