Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
