Got a toothbrush?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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