i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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