do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
