How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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