no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I love you. Go after that dick
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
