Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
