Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
