the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
