She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
