i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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