what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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