i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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