Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
