You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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