my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
