Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
