hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
