I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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