he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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