Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
