I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
