I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
