Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
