you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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