Ambien. No doubt about it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
