I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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