i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
