I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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