Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
