I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
