And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
