that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
