The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
