Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
