i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
