Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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