I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
