I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
