Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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