I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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