can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
