awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
