singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
