Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
