so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
