so that wasnt chicken after all
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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