so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
